Sansience
by Thick Soup
Summary: "Sans is made of bones," thought Alphys. "So would milk make him stronger?"


"SANS, GET UP, YOU LAZYBONES."

The pudgy skeleton did as the taller construct of magic told him to, and cleared the calcium oxide of his eyesockets.

"ITS TIME FOR OUR MORNING TRAINING."

Sans fell back onto his comfortable pink mattress.

"SANS!"

The afformentioned skeleton started 'snoring'.

"SANS! STOP SAYING 'Z' REPEATEDLY AND GET UP! WE HAVE TRAINING TO DO!"

Sans stopped 'Z'ing long enough to say, "nah, bro, im **b** **onetired** today"

"YOU GAVE THE SAME EXCUSE YESTERDAY, SANS!"

Sans paused in his fake snoring, before mumbling, "ill do it tomorrow"

"YOUVE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR THE PAST..." Papyrus halted his mini-rant, and thought for a while about the duration of which his lazy brother had been using that one line to procrastinate. "...EVER!"

His efforts were rewarded with more 'Z's.

The Caped Skelator sighed, before perking right up. "NEVERMIND, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS ANTICIPATED THIS WOULD HAPPEN AGAIN, FOR THE EIGHT HUNDREDTH AND FIFTY-SIXTH TIME, DESPITE MY EXPECTATIONS, AND THUS HAVE PREPARED THIS!"

Papyrus held up a bottle of calcium infused milk proudly at Sans.

"cool, bro" Sans muttered with his face buried in his mattress.

Sans then opened his left eye and tilted his head a slight bit to stare at the bottle supported up by Papyrus' hand.

"whazzit?"

"THIS," Papyrus announced with a smudge of satisfaction, "IS MILK."

Sans shifted his gaze to Papyrus.

After the appropriate five seconds or so of uncomfortable silence and crickets chirping, Papyrus added, "SPECIALLY FORMULATED BY DOCTOR ALPHYS TO MAKE BONES STRONGER."

He then threw the unopened bottle to Sans. "DRINK UP!"

Sans sat up, took up a ketchup packet, carefully tore it and the bottle open, and emptied its contents into the milk, before chugging the mixture down.

After waiting for Papyrus to stop retching, Sans asked, "whats in it"

"WELL, DOCTOR ALPHYS SAID IT CONTAINED CALCIUM, MAGIC, MORE MAGIC, ENDORPHINS, AND MILK."

"endorphins?"

"SHE ALSO CALLED IT HAPPY JUICE, AND HEHEHEHEHEEHHEH. AT LEAST, THAT WAS WHAT SHE SAID AFTER SHE SAID HAPPY JUICE."

Sans started vibrating slightly. His grin also started to grow wider. "that explains the tinglyness"

"SHE ALSO GAVE A LONG WINDED EXPLAINATION ON HOW SHE THINKS YOUR BONES ARE CLOSER TO HUMAN BONES THAN MAGIC BONES, AND HOW SHE USED THAT IDEA TO MAKE THAT MILK THAT SHE THINKS WILL RAISE YOUR STATS, EVEN WITHOUT TRAINING, somehow..." Papyrus trailed off.

Just then, Papyrus' phone rang out with a hearty, "NYEH HEH HEH!"

He flipped out the device, and looked at the screen. "OH, AND SHE SAYS THAT SHE'LL BE SENDING MORE MILK OVER, AND SHE ALSO REMINDS YOU TO DRINK THE MILK TWICE A DAY."

Papyrus then stopped. "SANS, WHATS A DAY?"

The Legendary Fartmaster shrugged, then froze as a very important question came to him. "papyrus, did alphys tell you where she got the milk from?"

"SHE SAID SHE GOT IT FROM THE GARBAGE DUMP."

Sans relaxed.

"ALTHOUGH SHE SEEMED VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN SHE SAID THAT." Papyrus continued.

Sans froze again, and stared at the moderately sized unmarked bottle in his hands with dark eyesockets. He then gave a dry cough.

 **Line break**

Somewhere at the back of his family(if two brothers can constitute as a family) house, Sans was "making hotdogs".

In reality, though...

"welp, thats a relief" The scientist skelington said as he read the chemical composition reading he(?) got from the "milk", while wiping off sweat that had somehow came out of his non-existing sweat glands with a towel, unaware the results were contaminated, and inaccurate.

He shuffled over to the other tarp-obsured project, flinging the food test results into the garbage can, which was filled to the brim with crumpled up papers, and dramatically pulled off the cover, revealing, in all its glory...

A blueprint, which was neither blue or a print(it was magic-drawn), of a large sheet of metal.

A sheet of Calcium, to be precise and sciency.

"perfect" The anatomically incorrect skeleton picked up the large sheet of paper and shuffled his way to the fabricator, made from a broken coffee machine, five rolls of duct tape and around twice the amalgamate's weight worth of magic, shutting off the probably-malfuntioning space-time continuum rift detector along the way, which was constantly bleeping about somemonster jumping back and forth in time and space.

It was also constantly reminding him to rescue somemonster that was seemingly trapped outside the world, but that was impossible, wasn't it?

Sans shook his head to get rid of the sudden headache, and turned on the fabricator.

 **Line break** **2: The re-breakening**

Sans tried to shake off the sinking feeling within his bones as he drank his concoction(this time, it was mustard and milk), but couldn't.

He told himself that it was the cold getting to him again, which it did sometimes, due to the red coppery liquid in the centre of his bones that Alphys seemed quite uncomfortable about, but after looking around the house for an extra jacket, and finding both that and a note addressed to him from Papyrus talking about him going out to confront the 'human'(wrong KR levels to be an actual human), the previously-weak previously-smiling skeleton ran straight into his room's left wall...

And emerged in a flash of blue in a fog-filled Snowed-In pathway, just in time to send up a solid wall of fused reinforced-by-calcium bones to intercept the punches from the 'child' from impacting his brother.

A clanging sound sounded through the air as Sans grabbed Papyrus as he sailed past him, and teleported to the town's alarm system.

"S...SANS!" The Magnificent Noodler stuttered, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

"bad, evil, not-human" Sans grunted as he pressed in the 'secret' codes to alert the Royal Guards to launch a full-scale evacuation.

"NO, SANS, THE WALL!"

"oh." Sans punched in the Underground coordinates of Snowdin. "prototype"

"THAT WAS SOOOOO COOL!"

Sans tapped the 'enter' key on the keyboard and looked up questioningly at his brother's fanboying/amazed sparkle face he usually saved for when Undyne supplexed boulders(it was a look Sans saw quite often).

"THAT WALL FELT LIKE... AN ACTUAL WALL! AMAZING! WHEN DID YOU GET SO STRONG, SANS?"

"milk helped a lot" It was true. Before he started drinking the milk-flavoured calcium, he wouldn't even have been able to summon the wall. "also, the wall was an actual wall"

"OH." Papyrus scratched his skull for a while. "HOW DID YOU SUMMON IT THEN."

Sans decided to spare the taller of the two from a long-winded explaination, and summarised his two-page long scientific speech into, 'magic'

"OH. THAT EXPLAINS A LOT."

Just because the summary was one word long did not make it any less effective.

 **Line break 3: We needed a trilogy**

Chara was getting really annoyed.

Everytime they tried to kill a monster, that annoying skeleton popped in, threw a suprsingly flexible wall around them, and popped out with their kill.

Bloody killstealer.

Still grumbling, Chara manipulated the near-empty puppet-body towards Hotland. Maybe they'd have more luck finding free EXP there.

The sneaky skeleton 'popped' out behind them, with another batch of refugees.

 **Line break 4: It's Now a Tetralogy**

The very ticked off child stormed into the Judgement Hall with determination, all thoughts no doubt geared towards the idea of killing the little explicit judge with her bare hands.

"heya" Sans stood with a slightly slouchedstraight posture and a bigger grin than usual, seemingly tickled about having preventing Chara from getting her kicks.

"youve been busy, huh, storming all over the underground." His grin widened as Chara's puppet's fist clenched around the 'gardening tool'(proof of them not being able to finish their genocidal blitz)

"so, about level 10, eh, buddy?" Sans lets out a low whistle. "thats higher than i expected"

He seems to stretch his spine, as he doesn't have a back. "usually, i would let you go on and fight asgore, but..."

Sans straightens up, with his eyes closed, and he opens them back up around two seconds later, pupils a-blazin'. "i feel like caring today"

He drinks a bottle of DT-infused milk, and shifts "Chara"'s soul into combat.

 _A very short amount of time later..._

The a-la-bonefide monster let loose the ray from the Blaster.

"and that, is that" Sans said in satisfaction as he surveyed his handiwork, a beautiful tapestry of burns and leftover magic. At the centre was the strangely tinted soul, which he scooped up in the miniature soul jar before it shattered, as he was told they were prone to do sometimes.

He then dismissed his calcium shell, his extra protection painstakingly designed from a carefully modified reinforced wall, and teleported into the Barrier room, where he held up the soul jar in victory in front of the mass of rescued monsters.

Amidst the cheering, the Angel of the Prophecy handed over the last soul to their King, in reverence.

King Asgore carefully took the soul, summoned the others from their containers in the ground, and gathered them in his paw.

Majestically, he clenched his paw into a fist. Instead of absorbing the resulting clay-like lump, King Fluffybuns took Sans' right hand, and dropped the soul goop on it.

Sans looked up at the towering Bergentrückung, who nodded at him. Resolved, the Saviour of the Underground walked up to the pulsating force that was the Barrier, with his phalanges closed around the squishy slightly damp substance, cocked back his fist, and punched it.

As his magic rose to form a protective layer around his knuckles, the amalgamate of spirits broke apart into their respective seven parts, floating and spinning around the pudgy skeleton's hand, seemingly consolidating into a ring of pulsating colours as it impacted.

The Underground was engulfed in a bath of white light as the one thing physically keeping it's inhabitants inside it shattered, just like the souls that were used to break it. The feedback flooded the breaker's pudgy body, causing him to glow luminescently for a few brief moments, before the energy rocketed through him and spread through the rest of the monsters.

In the midst of the painfully bright light, nomonster noticed when an unassuming buttercup suddenly expanded into the form of a small, bipedal goat.

 **Line break 5: We needed more money**

Sans was reclining on his sunchair, enjoying the large burning ball of hydrogen gas that hung in the vast, empty cosmos called space that provided 'non-lethal'(even though it was technically lethal) heat and light he was deprived of since young, when Papyrus' head emerged from the right to block his UV rays.

"SANS!"

"wuzzup, bro"

"I FORGOT TO DO SOMETHING FOR DOCTOR ALPHYS"

"whats that?"

Papyrus _checked_ Sans.

HP 340 DEF 1 (x2) AT???

 _No longer the easiest enemy. Still really dangerous though._

"CHECK WHETHER THE MILK WORKED."

Sans stared at Papyrus with a **dead** pan manner.

"seriously?"

 **Last line break...for now.**

And that's that.

I have basically no idea where this came from, it just came out.

Rate(is that possible in this website?) and review. Thanks.

 **~Thick Soup**

(the thing just went bold by itself woah)


End file.
